Posh Peony

For as long as I can remember, I have thrived in being quite the perfectionist. By perfectionist, I mean complete obsession with organization, cleanliness, and keeping things neat consistently. For many, this might sound incredibly exhausting and unrealistic, but for me it brings me a sense of accomplishment and comfort. As you can imagine growing up in a household of four children all similar in age, was no small feat for my parents. My mother, who similarly likes things tidy, did her best to teach us responsibility through completing household chores. Let’s just say, I was the only one that really took those lessons to heart. My other siblings carried on pretty carefree and nonchalant about it all. At a very young age, I also remember knowing first hand that I wanted to be a teacher when I grew up. As the years passed, I never changed my mind about my career choice. In fact, I made it my mission to be the best scholar, shooting for straight A’s, and never getting into any sort of trouble in school. Fastforward, I graduated in high school at the top of my class with honors, completed my college education with a Bachelor's degree, Master degree, and teaching credential in five years. I was a complete overachiever who loved the challenge and making my family proud. 

You’re probably thinking, this girl is insane and probably had no life all those years. Yes and no. When my big sister was diagnosed with leukemia, I was only 8 years old and remember my life changed almost instantly. I was now the older sister, helping my parents take care of my little brother and newborn sister, while they spent endless days in the hospital worried if their daughter would survive. Those years were tough, and although things weren’t ideal, we were strong and learned to be resilient. In case you’re wondering, my sister overcame her diagnosis and today, she is perfectly healthy and happy. I’ll admit, I grew up fast and my life was thrown into a constant competition with myself for years because of my upbringing. 

My teaching career began at the age of 21 and by then, I was married and starting my floral design business with my mother. Teaching came natural to me and so did planning and producing detailed events. I loved every minute of it. The organization, the planning, the logistics, and the connections built with my students and couples getting married.  Balancing teaching elementary school by day and growing my business by night. I began to lose myself working 16 hour days, working weekends to produce events, and never making time for my family or myself. I was hooked and didn’t want to disappoint anyone, so I carried on neglecting my sanity and health. This went on for years and got to the point where I knew I had to make changes before my health suffered. 

I had to let go of being a workaholic.

I had to learn to let go of control. 

I had to let go of being perfect....

As I learned to be this new version of myself, I changed and life got better. Those mindset shifts empowered me to make difficult decisions along the way. I focused on what mattered most and being happy. That included letting go of my toxic marriage that kept me from living a healthy lifestyle. 

Over the next ten year years, I became a better teacher, an experienced floral designer, a savvy entrepreneur, and an industry educator. Life got even better when I finally met the love of my life, got married, and became a mother for the first time. Things were perfect. I was on top of my game! A wonderful marriage and overjoyed with motherhood, I finally reached a point in my life where I felt complete. What could go wrong? When I completed maternity leave, I was ready and excited to go back to work and pick up where I left off. Sure, things weren’t a smooth transition because my time was now shared with another tiny human in my life, but I knew it was temporary. Both my home and business workload doubled, responsibilities tripled, and had heavy feelings start creeping in. Feelings of failure, guilt, and yes you guessed it; unaccomplishment. Since I wasn’t able to be as productive and get too much work done, including keeping a home and marriage alive, I felt like I was slowly drowning. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was the start of the vicious cycle I had escaped once before. 

By the time I had my second baby,  I felt the compulsiveness to “do it all” begin to creep in. For a moment, I ignored it. Asking for help has never come naturally for me, and so I didn’t. This led to overwhelm and severe burn out, yet again. On top of that, I was diagnosed with postpartum anxiety and had to find ways to cope with the mental and emotional exhaustion I was feeling everyday. It took a moment of reflection to realize that I had to put myself first if I wanted to help others around me. I was not going to be the best wife, mother, friend, teacher, entrepreneur, or mentor if I didn’t let go.

I had to let go of trying to do it all alone. 

I had to learn to let go of fear and guilt. 

I had to let go of not being vulnerable or appearing strong all the time....

This is easier said than done, but possible. The possibility to become a better version of yourself is always there and you just have to make it happen, baby steps along the way. 

Today, as I share this story with you let me tell you, I still don’t have it together 100%. I probably never will and I’m okay with that. These past three years I have learned to let go of control, perfection, and fear of uncertainty. I’ve ditched the endless to-do lists and focus on prioritizing what matters most so that I get the dose of accomplishment I need in my life. I’ve let go of trying to please everyone and neglecting my feelings first. I’ve let go of a spotless home and have embraced the messy rooms full of toys and laughter.  I’m still working on mindset, I continue to educate myself, and I invest in self-care. 

Time is our most valuable resource that we can never get back. Delegation is a huge reason why I now make time to be present with my family and focus on my needs as well. I outsource things that I don’t know how to do or don’t enjoy doing and have others do them for me. Trading time for dollars has been the best investment in helping me let go of it all. This has also allowed me to continue growing and scaling my business so that I can stop trading MY TIME for dollars. I don’t want to look back on my life 30 years from now and wonder where time went. I don’t want to ask myself: Was I there enough for my family? Did they get enough of my attention? Why did I work so much and not enjoy the fruits of my labor more?  And, I most certainly don’t want to regret missing out on all the little things because the little things are what life is worth living for. 

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Cristina Barragan, is the Owner and Chief Creative Officer at Posh Peony. In 2005, she started teaching elementary education and at the same time, launched her floral design business as a household hobby, never imagining the growth it would have in the following years!

Today, Posh Peony is known for producing luxury and lush floral designs with an emphasis in personalization and an elevated client experience. She runs a boutique style studio that provides full-service design and educational workshops at a local and international level. Her work has been featured numerous times in prominent publications such as; Martha Stewart Weddings, Style Me Pretty, Green Wedding Shoes, Once Wed, The Perfect Palette, and many more.

She has been able to grow and scale her business which has allowed her to pursue her love of teaching in the event industry. Through her florist online community; Fleursociety, she has been able to empower floral designers and entrepreneurs on how to build better businesses with her online courses and LIVE events.